Slow and Gentle
I recently became a mom for the first time. Friends and family try to tell you what it’s like, but no one can really prepare you for parenthood. I knew becoming a parent would change things about me, although it was NOT what I expected.
Becoming a mother has changed so much about my day. Someone once described me as a workhorse, and I took that name with pride. I love working hard and seeing great results as my reward. I love learning! It’s been so hard putting my agenda down in order to nurse. It’s even been hard slowing my mind and renewing it while I sit and nurse. My to-do list runs through my mind.
Right now, my priority has changed. Sometimes, my daughter needs me to sit down with her and give her my full attention. It can be pride-killing to sit down and give her that when I want to get other things done or spend time on myself. My husband and I can’t do the things we used to at the pace we are used to, because she can’t keep up with our pace. We have to slow down to her pace. She needs frequent connection with us.
The Lord has gently led me throughout the last couple of months. The pressure is off and, looking forward, I will practice continued slowness. My priorities will be my husband, daughter, and myself: each individually and as a family. I don’t intend to lose myself in my identity as a mother, but I intend to allow the Lord to show me the balance between being a wife, mother, and individual.
Slowly I will settle into this new life I’ve been blessed with. I will pause to be grateful, to focus on my priorities, and to breathe out my prayers to God in the moments I can.
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